When Clay Cracks: A Gentle Lesson in Resistance, Inner Chatter & Creative Acceptance
Photo by Selina Stansfield, embracing the imperfect
Over the recent long weekend, I found myself drawn to something simple: a block of self-drying clay. I had a vision, something I wanted to create with my hands. Not for productivity. Not to sell. Not even as a bonding activity, although it turned into one. I bought it because I craved the physical act of making.
It wasn’t about the outcome. It was about the urge. That deep, primal need to shape something with my hands.
But as is often the case when inspiration knocks, resistance answered the door first.
The Subtle Power of Resistance
Even though I’d bought the clay, I didn’t have a plan. My son noticed the pack and immediately, as children so beautifully do, wanted to dive in. “When are we going to make the clay thing, Mum?” he kept asking.
I kept stalling. There was laundry, blog posts. Tidying. Important things, right?
Was it really about not having time?
Or was it resistance dressed up in productivity’s clothing?
Eventually, he declared Friday as “clay day” and began crafting, no drama, no hesitation, just joy. Watching him sparked something, but I still held back. I let myself believe there wasn’t enough time to sit down and create. I hovered around, doing “important” tasks, while he sat shaping clay into a square plant pot shaped like a caravan, pure genius, really.
Still, I didn’t sit down. Not until the opened clay packet forced my hand.
It would dry up if I didn’t act.
And so I began.
The Voice That Says "Not Good Enough"
The moment I started shaping the clay, the internal chatter began.
“This isn’t right.”
“That’s the wrong shape.”
“You’re not good at this.”
The image I had in my head and the object in front of me weren’t matching. It was frustrating. That old perfectionist part of me stirred, criticizing every curve, every imperfection.
And yet, from the other side of the table, a different voice reached me.
“Wow, Mum, that’s amazing!”
My son, beaming, kept coming over to check my progress. “I love that bit you just did,” he said. He meant it. I could feel it.
And just like that, something cracked open, not in the clay, but in me.
His praise mirrored mine. Earlier, I had been so genuinely enthusiastic about his creation. And now, he was giving that back to me. But while I had offered praise freely, I realised I had been so unwilling to receive it for myself.
Why is it so much easier to encourage others than to encourage ourselves?
Perfection Is Not the Point
Eventually, we ran out of time and had to stop. My piece wasn’t finished. It wasn’t what I’d imagined. It definitely wasn’t perfect.
And I struggled with that.
But I reminded myself: I hadn’t touched clay in years. Expecting perfection straight out of the gate was an unrealistic standard.
So I chose to leave it as it was.
Not because it was done.
But because it was enough.
What the Clay Taught Me About Life and Business
This tiny moment at the kitchen table got me thinking.
How often do we do this in our businesses? In life?
We have an idea, a project, a course, a product, a piece of art, a newsletter, even just an Instagram post. We carry around a perfect vision in our heads, and then when we go to actually do the thing, resistance rises. The inner critic awakens. The fear of it “not being good enough” keeps us from starting or finishing.
But the truth is, the creation will never match the image we hold in our heads. Not exactly.
Because the real magic isn’t in the image. It’s in the making.
Part One: Recognising Resistance
Resistance doesn’t always look like fear. Sometimes it disguises itself as busyness or productivity. We convince ourselves we don’t have time to sit down and create. But if we’re honest, underneath that excuse is often a deeper discomfort: the fear of doing something imperfectly.
When we notice resistance, without judgment, we can meet it with curiosity. What are we really afraid of? What’s the story we’re telling ourselves?
Part Two: Listening to the Inner Chatter
Once we begin, the inner critic often shows up loudly and uninvited.
That voice might say:
- “You don’t know what you’re doing.”
- “This doesn’t look how it’s supposed to.”
- “You should’ve planned better.”
- “It’s not as good as what someone else would do.”
Sound familiar?
We all carry some version of this script. But what if we met it with compassion instead of control? What if, instead of arguing with it, we simply named it and kept going?
Our inner chatter doesn’t have to stop us. It just wants to be acknowledged.
Part Three: Choosing Acceptance Over Perfection
The third part is the gentlest and often the hardest.
Accepting the mess. The not-quite-right. The beautiful, lumpy, imperfect version of what we thought we were creating.
This isn’t about settling. It’s about releasing the grip of control.
Because perfection isn’t the point. Connection is. Creativity is. Aliveness is.
And when we let go of the outcome, we often find something even more magical waiting underneath.
A Loving Invitation
Whether you’re shaping clay, writing content, launching an offering, or simply trying something new in your life or business, I invite you to notice these three stages:
- Resistance: Can you pause and ask what’s really holding you back?
- Inner Chatter: Can you hear the voice without letting it stop you?
- Acceptance: Can you let it be imperfect and trust the process anyway?
You don’t need to push harder.
You don’t need to wait until it’s perfect.
You just need to begin.
And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that what you create, though different than the image in your head,is exactly what needed to come through.
With clay on your fingers and kindness in your heart, keep going.
Your creations matter. Even the wonky ones.